Sunday, April 27, 2014
Remember this post? Well, guess what...APRIL CAME!! April 25th to be exact. On Friday, I graduated from College! It is still a little surreal, and it was a beautiful day. As Jordan and I were driving to campus to head to commencement, I started thinking about the hundreds of times I drove to the University. My mind wandered to my Freshman year. I didn't have much of a clue about what was going on. I remember a counselor asking me, "Do you want to take just 12 credit hours? That is pretty common for those just starting out." I said yes, but didn't have a clue what "12 credit hours" meant. My awesome brother-in-law took me up to the school a few weeks before class started and helped me get my textbooks and student ID card. My sister's friend escorted me to my first class, US History.
I used to carpool with some of my best friends from High School, and because of me, we were usually running a few minutes late. The semester I had a 7:30 class was a bit rough (I'm not always what you would call a morning person). I remember buying books, turning in assignments, waiting for grades to come back, and hoping that reading the first page of the chapter would be enough to pass the quiz (I love reading, I hate reading textbooks). I walked on ice, searched for parking spots, ran to not be late, wrote a letter to parking services about an undeserved ticket, and cringed when paying tuition.
I remember the hardest semester of my life, it was during my sophomore year. I was being overcome by my anxiety and depression. There were times when I would lay my head down on my desk and cry quietly, hoping no one would see or hear me. I felt like my life was going to go absolutely no where. I felt literally damned, like I was up against a brick wall and the water was rising. Did it make sense? No. Did it seem real? Absolutely.
On the flip side, I made some incredible friends through college. There were many I met before I entered the Special Education program, and others I spent time with the two years in the program. These are people I want to keep in contact with for a long, long time. We shared frustrations, teaching ideas, funny stories, and advice. I attended religious classes at the LDS Institute, and gladly welcomed the treats they had there.
Thinking back, I realize how hard it was at times. I can't lie, College caused me some tears, but it was worth it. I guess I always knew it would be, sometimes it was just very hard to see it. At graduation, I thought about the times I had joked (semi-seriously) that I was going to give up and drop out. I am SO grateful I didn't. I seriously learned so much, and I am now working in a position that I really enjoy.
I know I didn't achieve this goal alone. I had the support of my family, friends, husband, and God.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Lately, it has been a little bit crazy. GRADUATION IS NEXT WEEK! I can barely believe it! The last few days have consisted of working on my last 3 major assignments that are due. It has been a bit stressful, but not too bad! When I think back on my College career, I get a little bit tired. But, I wouldn't change it at all. I can't wait to not have homework or worry about an exam that is coming up. I can almost taste the freedom...I'm so excited!!
On a slightly different note, I've had a thought for the last little while. Anxiety and depression is a crazy thing. Different people experience it in different ways. If you have a story or advice you would like to share, I would love to give you the opportunity. If not for anything else, for yourself. Writing about your struggles can give you insights you never knew before. It can help you feel strong. If you feel it is appropriate, email me your thoughts, stories, experiences, etc. with anxiety and depression. I would love to have some posts on my blog that are written by other people! You can absolutely choose to remain annonymous if you would like. Just think about it. If you feel the desire, I would love to hear your words.
Just think about it.
Email me here:
Friday, April 4, 2014
|Photo courtesy of LDS.org|
Six months ago, Elder Holland gave his talk about anxiety and depression. That talk has been a life line for me in my struggle with anxiety and depression. I remember listening to that talk and being glued to the TV. I am excited to hear what the Prophets and Apostles have to tell us this conference. Whether the talks apply to me generally or specifically, it is always a wonderful weekend.
Whether you watch Conference every 6 months, have watched it a few times, or have never watched, I would invite you to tune in and see what is said that applies to you.
To learn more about General Conference, click here.