Monday, October 19, 2015
I love being a mom. It is the hardest and most wonderful thing I have ever done. That little man has changed my world forever. I love him.
What I didn't expect, was the pain and anxiety I feel each time I realize he is getting bigger. First, I packed away his newborn clothes, then I put away his 0-3 month clothes. Ouch. It was a similar feeling to putting away Christmas decorations, but with those, I can console myself in remembering I will be pulling them out again in less than a year. I don't know when I will see the clothes again, and my babe will never wear them again. The dreaded night we moved him to his crib to sleep, I wanted to go sleep on the floor next to his crib, but I stayed in my bed trying to be strong.
It is so hard to watch him grow, but it is also SO wonderful. He has started rolling, eating cereal, smiling, laughing, reaching, and he puts everything in his mouth. He observes the world around him. He responds to me and his daddy. The other day he reached for me. He reached for me! It was amazing. He loves to play with toys and "talk." He has the sweetest giggle and he can now put his binky in his own mouth. He is learning what his hands and feet can do. He gets cuter everyday.
It is wonderful, but I find myself worrying about the future. "How will I drop him off on his first day of Kindergarten?" "He won't be this size forever, he's changing!" "Will he visit me on Mother's Day when he's 40?" I can almost send myself into a panic attack. That is why I have hung a new sign in my house. It says, "The Best is Yet to Be." I tell myself this every time I start to worry about my little man growing and changing. "The Best is Yet to Be."
It's okay that I feel heart ache when he is growing, but I will strive to enjoy every stage and remember that the best is yet to be.