Every time I read this book by Matthew Johnstone, I am amazed at the accuracy the author has in describing exactly how depression can cause you to feel. A page that hit me today says,
"People who've had a Black Dog in their lives often say that in retrospect, 'the Dog' probably had been sniffing around for a long time. They just didn't have the understanding and knowledge to give it a name."
It took me a long time to realize what was going on in my life. Depression was one of those things that only happened to "other people." I didn't think it was something that could happen to me. When I realized what it was, my world began to change. It didn't make it go away, but it helped me to understand it and realize I wasn't broken (even though I felt like it).
I was scared to realize I had depression. There are so many unknowns and things that are hard to understand. I guess that is why I talk and blog about it. Expressing my experiences and hearing about the things others have been through helps me to understand it better.
What I have learned is that depression and anxiety are a part of my life at times, but they do not define me.
Read parts one and two of "Living With a Black Dog"
Questions about taking medicine for anxiety/depression? I had them too, read about it here.
This song is so good, I had to split it into a couple of different parts to make sure I felt I had given it justice. (To read Part 1 click here.)
The chorus of the song goes like this,
"He knew there'd be moments when no earthly words
Could take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you."
Anxiety and depression can be hard because a lot of times you can't tell someone is going through it on the outside. If you were physically sick, you would have people asking how you are feeling or bringing you "Get well!" cards, but when you are mentally sick, there may be very few or even no people who know your situation. Further still, many people (not because of a fault of their own) don't understand anxiety and depression. They may think you are just going through a phase or that it is "all in your head."
This song reminds me that Jesus understands. Even when it seems like nothing on earth can help, Jesus can.