It Can Be So Hard

It can be very hard to live with anxiety and depression. Often, it can creep up on you on a perfectly good day. It's grip is tight, it's power is draining. The funny thing about this enemy is that it is better not to fight it. That might sound funny, am I telling you to give up? Absolutely not. I have learned that one of the best ways to help with my anxiety and depression is to relax. If an awful or terrible thought comes into my head, trying to control me, I try to simply think, "I know that isn't true." Some days it is easier to do than others, but it usually helps. I often talk myself through the day and the phrase, "Just Breathe," is often played in my head. It can be so hard, but it makes me appreciate life and my loved ones so much. Life is good.

Heather

School is rough for me at times. I get frustrated because I'm a bit of a homebody. I enjoy learning, but I have been known to complain about school. During the Spring Semester of 2012, I was in a Math 1020 class at 7 o’clock in the morning. During that time I was experiencing high levels of anxiety about anything and everything. Going to school was really hard, especially so early in the morning. But, God had not forgotten me. He knew I was struggling. He sent me an angel friend who helped me get through the semester. Her name is Heather. I still remember when she sat next to me the first day. She said something like, “Well, I’m Heather, what is your name?” Right when you look at her you can tell she is a fun and kind person. We bonded quickly. It was not a rare occurrence for us to burst out laughing during class and miss some of the lecture we were supposed to be taking notes on. At times we worried that we drove the people around us a bit crazy. Heather made me laugh and made me feel like myself (anxiety has a way of stripping your identity from you). Some mornings I would feel like I couldn’t go to school that day, but I would remember my friend Heather was going to be in my first class, and I could go. One time, a girl who sat in front of us asked where Heather and I had met. I said, “In this class.” She said, “Seriously? I thought you had been friends for years!” I know God had her sit next to me so she could be a friend at this time in my life. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met and I am grateful for her friendship.

The Avengers

I love super hero movies. I love the good vs. evil premise, and that right always wins. In the movie, "The Avengers," there is a point when one of the characters is just coming out of being brainwashed. As he struggles to regain his composure, his identity, and figure out where his mind has been the last little while, he says,

“Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out? Stuff something else in?"

I've never been brainwashed, but anxiety and depression sometimes feels that way. You don't feel at home in your own mind. You find things there that aren't yours. It feels as if some evil power is taking your brain to "play." 

The good news is, it's not you. It won't last forever. Just like the hero in "The Avengers," you will feel like yourself again. Remember that even if you are having a hard time, you are still you. You will be yourself again.