Introducing...Lady Bug!

So, the Monday before last, I convinced Jordan it was a good idea that we get a cat. So, we went to our local Petsmart and adopted a sweet 1 1/2 year old girl. Her name is Lady Bug.
I can't lie, I started to have a little anxiety about this new little friend in our home. I am still adjusting to trying to keep a house clean, and a cat can make that a little more difficult. At first, we kept all her things (food, litter box, etc.) in our upstairs bathroom. We also kept her in there when we were gone. After she was more used to our house, we moved her to the basement. She has her own fouton, homemade scratching post (thanks Jordy!), bed, food dish, litter box, etc. She comes upstairs when we are home, but when we are gone, she has the whole basement to herself.
When she sits in our laps while we watch TV, and we almost have to turn up the volume because she is purring so loudly, I realize that the little bit of extra work is totally worth it. Providing a little animal with a loving home has made me feel very happy.

Our "Little Bug"

Benefit of the Doubt

A phrase that is heard often is, "You have no idea what it's like to __________." Inserted in the blank is usually some sort of challenge or trial a person has or is going through. The phrase may be, "You have no idea what it's like to have anxiety/depression," "You have no idea what it's like to be obese," "You have no idea what it's like to lose a child," and the list goes on. Thinking of these phrases made me realize that everyone has at least one of these phrases they could say.
Everyone has been through something or is going through something currently that we may not understand. This is one of the reasons it is so important to be kind to each other. This is one of the reasons we need to give others the benefit of the doubt. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone deserves to be loved.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I have to admit, I didn't see that one coming...

*Cell phone rings*
Me: "Hello?"
Phone: "Hi, is this Chelsea?"
Me: "Yes."
Phone: "Hi Chelsea, how are you doing?"
Me: "Good, thanks. How are you?"
Phone: "Good. Thanks for asking. Well, your test came back positive for Celiac disease. Your doctor  (Doctor #1) recommends a gluten-free diet."
Me: "Ummm....wow, okay."

After this conversation we entered a roller coaster ride of questions and answers.

I had gone to the doctor because I'd been having pretty significant stomach issues. I'd get sick very easily. Often, I wouldn't eat because I was afraid of getting sick, but the lack of food would then make me sick. Several doctors trips occurred, but I wasn't getting better. Finally, I was tested for celiac and also scheduled to have an allergy test.

I found out I had celiac and then I went to have the allergy test a few days later (just to see if there were any other problems.) When I had my allergy test, the doctor (Doctor #2) told me I had actually scored a very "low positive" on the celiac test. He wanted me to have a scope before they made me get on the diet. This left me feeling that we may have overreacted. We felt fairly confident I didn't really have celiac disease.

When I went in for the consultation of my scope, the doctor (Doctor #3) told us that even though I scored a "low positive" on the test, he was fairly confident I WAS celiac. He said he had scoped many people who had actually scored in the "normal" range on the celiac test, but once they were looked at it was determined they had celiac.

About a week later, I got a scope. Jordan thought it was pretty funny to see me wake up from a drug-induced sleep. (He even recorded some of it :) ). The doctor (Doctor #3) told Jordan (while I was asleep) that my insides looked normal and didn't show the usual signs of celiac, but they were taking a biopsy. Maybe I didn't really have it?

About 6 days later, I got another call from the Doctor (Doctor #3). He told me once again, that I do have celiac and I need to go on a gluten-free diet.

A few tears, extra dollars spent on gluten free foods, and gratitude for the hopes of better health later, I sit here typing this post.

It's been hard. Especially when I think of all the wonderful foods I can't eat (at least not in the way I am used to.) My chicken sandwich at Red Robin, my Meatball Marinara from Subway, and mine and Jordan's beloved Oreo's to name just a few. But, I am learning how many options there are and that I will make it! And, I believe it will be worth it.

The other day, Jordan read me a scripture about our weaknesses turning to strengths and challenged me to thank God for my Celiac. I did, and I will try to continue to, even though it is hard.

P.S. Special shout out to my family for supporting me in this, the doctors who were all wonderful, and for Karin, especially for making me some gluten-free Oreos :)

My new and improved Gluten-free shelf of my pantry.

It Can Be So Hard

It can be very hard to live with anxiety and depression. Often, it can creep up on you on a perfectly good day. It's grip is tight, it's power is draining. The funny thing about this enemy is that it is better not to fight it. That might sound funny, am I telling you to give up? Absolutely not. I have learned that one of the best ways to help with my anxiety and depression is to relax. If an awful or terrible thought comes into my head, trying to control me, I try to simply think, "I know that isn't true." Some days it is easier to do than others, but it usually helps. I often talk myself through the day and the phrase, "Just Breathe," is often played in my head. It can be so hard, but it makes me appreciate life and my loved ones so much. Life is good.

Heather

School is rough for me at times. I get frustrated because I'm a bit of a homebody. I enjoy learning, but I have been known to complain about school. During the Spring Semester of 2012, I was in a Math 1020 class at 7 o’clock in the morning. During that time I was experiencing high levels of anxiety about anything and everything. Going to school was really hard, especially so early in the morning. But, God had not forgotten me. He knew I was struggling. He sent me an angel friend who helped me get through the semester. Her name is Heather. I still remember when she sat next to me the first day. She said something like, “Well, I’m Heather, what is your name?” Right when you look at her you can tell she is a fun and kind person. We bonded quickly. It was not a rare occurrence for us to burst out laughing during class and miss some of the lecture we were supposed to be taking notes on. At times we worried that we drove the people around us a bit crazy. Heather made me laugh and made me feel like myself (anxiety has a way of stripping your identity from you). Some mornings I would feel like I couldn’t go to school that day, but I would remember my friend Heather was going to be in my first class, and I could go. One time, a girl who sat in front of us asked where Heather and I had met. I said, “In this class.” She said, “Seriously? I thought you had been friends for years!” I know God had her sit next to me so she could be a friend at this time in my life. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met and I am grateful for her friendship.

The Avengers

I love super hero movies. I love the good vs. evil premise, and that right always wins. In the movie, "The Avengers," there is a point when one of the characters is just coming out of being brainwashed. As he struggles to regain his composure, his identity, and figure out where his mind has been the last little while, he says,

“Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out? Stuff something else in?"

I've never been brainwashed, but anxiety and depression sometimes feels that way. You don't feel at home in your own mind. You find things there that aren't yours. It feels as if some evil power is taking your brain to "play." 

The good news is, it's not you. It won't last forever. Just like the hero in "The Avengers," you will feel like yourself again. Remember that even if you are having a hard time, you are still you. You will be yourself again. 

Dad

Baby Chelsea and Dad

When we had family members who were very sick with anxiety and depression, my dad was our rock. Even though it was an extremely hard time, I have good memories of things my dad did for our family. For a few months we always had fresh flowers in the kitchen. He brought color and happiness to our lives with those flowers. In our family, Dole juice was a special treat. For those few hard months, there was always Dole juice in the fridge. My dad was working full-time at work and full-time at home to try and keep things running smoothly. He taught me the true meaning of sticking with your loved ones through anything and everything. Thanks Daddy, I love you!