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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Don't Forget About Me

This week was good, but also had anxiety sneaking in on the edges. A few evenings ago, I got upset about something my husband, Jordan, said. I knew he had in no way meant to upset me or hurt my feelings, and I didn't know how to handle the situation. My brain became cloudy, the cloud that takes sense away from my head and tells me I am not worth much. He could see that I was upset and that I wasn't able to talk about it for the moment. He had to leave for work, (about a dozen or so times a year he works a night job) so he kissed me and told me he loved me.
After he left, I fell apart. I cried and cried. I felt frustrated that I couldn't control my emotions better, upset that I was so flustered by such a small thing, and felt my self-esteem, confidence, and hope sink to the floor. I prayed that the Lord could send me some comfort and cried a little more. Then I had an idea to write Jordan a letter. It made sense, so I poured out my soul on one and a half sheets of college ruled paper. I told him what had upset me and why. I explained some of what was going on in my head and why I was unable to talk about it when he had left. I expressed my love for him. When I finished writing the letter, I felt so much better. It cleared my head. I was grateful I could put my emotions on paper and find a way to help Jordan understand me a little bit better.
Soon after I finished the letter, I received a text from him that said, "Don't forget about me while I am gone!" When he got home I was so happy to see him and he read my letter. We were able to talk about it and get everything resolved. Even though I had gone through a slight panic attack, I was so proud that, with some help from above, I was able to pull through it and get back on my feet. I am grateful for my Jordan and his patience with me and my anxiety.

5 comments:

  1. Great job Chelsea! You are an amazing girl!
    Love you!
    Mom

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  2. I writ too, when I cannot "talk" how I feel. And it sure does help. I am glad yu knew WHO to talk to first about yourself and emotions, it makes a whole lot of difference. Thanks for sharing, visiting and following from Matrimonial Monday, have a super blessed day!
    Love

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    1. Thank you for stopping by! Writing can be a lot easier than expressing things, especially when you are a bit upset. Thanks again for stopping by!

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  3. It's awesome that you were able to express yourself and show your love for him. I have always said I am a better writer than speaker. I can usually express myself so much better on paper. Your husband sounds like such a blessing! Stopping by from a Proverbs 31 wife link-up. Have a beautiful day :)

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    1. Thank you Amanda! I appreciate you stopping by. I am like you, I write MUCH better than I speak :)
      Thank you for your time, don't be a stranger! :)

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